It's true that trauma resurfaces annually. Since the start of May, I have been having unsettling feelings and thoughts of self harm. Not that I would ever actively plan on taking my life, but there were days when life seemed bleak and pointless, and there's that prevalent overpowering sense of imminent loss. Even the slightest of triggers would bring back memories of the worst moments..of ICU rooms, of hospital smells, of the doctor fumbling for the right words to deliver bad news, of near death experiences, of waiting outside the morgue for what seemed like aeons, of helplessly watching the nurses trying to resuscitate a loved one... I relived all of that a thousand times over in the past month. But through my grief, I seem to have found a way to reconnect with the wanderer in me.... The one that never gets dull and can find the energy within to stray off into daydreams at the hardest of times. This is also the part that has helped me be creative. I don't want to jinx it, but I seem to be functional again. It does help that I now have a bat-cave to escape into, stay disconnected from everything, and journey inward. Thought I'd share this pic from a couple of years back when we were all happier. When I'm in my studio, cut off from the world, my subconscious resets to joyful times. It makes me feel that there'll always be sunshine and rainbows outside the door when I open it and that all my favourite people will still be with me. Yes, I'm a walking, talking dichotomy of rational and delusional thoughts and I'm learning to accept that about myself.
Thursday, 2 June 2022
Sunday, 19 January 2020
Remember remember...the 26th of November
Monday, 6 January 2020
2020!
Most often the fall will either wake you up or kill you.
Thursday, 20 December 2018
Art, to me, is no longer just the means for a quick buck or glory. I have gone back to loving the process of attempting new things, at times failing, and always learning on the go. Also as you grow older you become more streamlined and your priorities change with it. It’s a little like how when you’re younger, the only reason you work out is to look good naked. As you grow older, you work out because it helps you feel good and function better. Looking good naked is just a bonus. The moment that becomes a priority, the need to feel good and function better just adds to the overall pressure.
Yes, I’ve turned down a few interviews of late and said no to several projects, and that’s only because right now isn’t the time for gloating in mediocre achievements. There is quite a lot to be done, and I promise that when the time is right I will not shy away. As the saying goes - To everything, there is a season.
Thursday, 29 June 2017
Rain-washed
Wednesday, 4 January 2017
Rage
Tuesday, 20 December 2016
As seasons go by
All that's happening in the world today is bound to cause disillusionment. It's so easy to lose faith in humanity and crave for detachment. I've been backpacking through strange lands, thumbing rides, and pitching tents on unfamiliar grounds in the past month with Merryn, Rohith, and Sneha (see pic below). No Thanks to demonetization, the money we had on us had little practical use in places without internet or ATMs. It was through sheer luck and the kindness of complete strangers that we made it back to civilization. Instead of feeling detached, I now feel closer to humanity in a way I never thought possible
With that comes the urge to give back to humanity. I believe it's time to move out of my comfort zone and start sharing the tricks of trade I've picked up on the way while working on my craft. While it may be way too early to call myself a mentor, it might be a good time for me to start internalizing my approach to art. Trying to explain how or why I do things the way I do them could also gain me some perspective and help me recognise what I need to do to move on to the next level. Looking back on my work from a few years back, I get great pleasure when I see that I've improved. I hope that I never stop learning, and that someday not so far away, I can look back on what I'm doing right now and see that I've progressed further.
Friday, 26 August 2016
Chat with Helter Skelter
Click on the image for the full interview
And here's a small excerpt:
Thursday, 12 May 2016
Need support, friends!
Wednesday, 23 December 2015
Art Drop Month

You can find more about this along with pictures and artwork HERE
And here's another newspaper snippet that came earlier this year

Saturday, 20 June 2015
Saturday, 18 April 2015
OK Kanmani (Main stream Movie project #2)
#OkKanmani
P.P.S: Here's a pic of all of us who could make it to the opening show yesterday
Pic Courtesy: Pravin
Saturday, 14 February 2015
Going green on the eve of love
So we planted a Frangipani tree. Well, it's not a tree yet. That's kinda the point, right? You plant something together, you nurture it, prune it, let it grow and blossom, and watch it stand tall, all in the span of a lifetime. It's a safe bet, I think, considering that that an average Plumeria tree lives for more than a hundred years, provided you don't start a war on it. I kid you not! It takes over 500 degrees of heat to burn a Frangipani and it can stand pretty much everything once it has survived the initial few years
Yup, that's the 'tree' we've planted. It's also the first one we've planted together. And with planting a tree comes bigger responsibilities, one of which is encouraging others to plant some. So if the above reasons weren't tempting enough, here are fifteen more reasons (all of which have been copied off the internet for the sole purpose of spreading awareness) why you should plant a tree.
(Source: http://www.treepeople.org)
Friday, 6 February 2015
When Kittens Fade
As I drove home today from the vet's, with my two little powderpuffs in a basket, I watched them look out the window, intrigued by the world rushing by. They had never seen so many people before. Nor had they known anything of what exists outside our compound wall. As they looked at me and 'mewed' in amusement, I felt a cinder sear my heart, for I knew this would also be their last wonder. I have been told that there is nothing that can be done. My little boy and girl had no clue that they had already started fading.
With every passing hour they'd fade some more. I'll start seeing the floor right through their skins and in the end, they too would disappear. But in the four short months of their lives they have grown enough on me to leave behind two kitten-shaped holes in my soul. Two more to add to my stash of tiny little kitten-shaped holes, that in time, will make me relent again to the look of saucer eyes, the touch of a tiny paw, and the sound of a soft, heart-melting purr
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HAPPY UPDATE, on 10th Feb
Though we lost our little boy, we've been able to nurse our little girl, Delilah, back to good health. I can't believe that the vet said she wouldn't make it! Thank heavens, they don't always fade! And a big YAYYY for little miracles!
P.S: Thanks a ton all the support, friends
P.P.S: Here's us saying hi to y'all
Friday, 9 January 2015
Righteous rage
Sunday, 4 January 2015
More than two decades hence
Friday, 18 April 2014
Article about Studio Dreamcatcher in today's Newspaper
Animation studio Studio Dreamcatcher has collaborated on the animation sequences in Mammootty’s Gangster
Thursday, 17 April 2014
Monday, 7 April 2014
Friday, 4 April 2014
Gangster - A new chapter for Studio Dreamcatcher
With just a week left for the big day, it is time to finally break the silence. I've been told that for many directors, moviemaking is often an extension to photography. My chosen medium for storytelling has mostly been sequential art. I have been a sucker for comics, graphic novels, and animation films all my life and have been earning my daily bread creating them. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that if I'm ever allowed to make a movie (in this particular case just a segment in a movie), it would most certainly be an extension to 'comic art'.
I've been given an opportunity to take sequential art to the next level. The canvas this time, is the big screen - a destination whose borders I had not dreamt of crossing until much later.
I thank Aashiqettan (Aashiq Abu, Director) and my dear friend Pratheek Thomas (who co-directed these animated segments with me) from the bottom of my heart for this spectacular opportunity. And to Rosh, Abhilashettan, Ansal, Danny, Anoop, Sumesh and the rest of my amazing team at Studio Dreamcatcher who pulled insane hours to complete this project on time - you guys are the heart and soul of this project; hats off to you all! It's a little too early to say anything more about the segment(s)
Will be sharing more about the process and the entire credit list after the release. Gangster releases nationwide on the 11th of April, and yes, it has a little surprise for all of you from Studio Dreamcatcher. Stay tuned!
- Kishore















